What does it mean to be a loving parent?

Someone to be proud of, to speak highly of when you’re leading your own life, someone to remember, and someone who leads by example.

We all raise our kids differently, and always with the best of intentions. No matter how hard we try, we’re always doing a good job, whilst failing at the same time (at least that’s how I feel). We tend to learn from the mistakes that were made in our own families, in our direct surroundings, or in different generations. But, we’re allowed to make our own mistakes so that we can learn from them, right?

What do our kids really need?

Recently I read the book Speelruimte (which translates to ‘play area’) by Lynne Wolbert. I was really attracted to the title and didn’t really know what to expect when I first started reading it. But the book opened my eyes.

Lynne has an extremely refreshing view of parenting and raising children, particularly the new generation. She doesn’t provide parenting tips, instead by referring to research that has been conducted she shows that science doesn’t offer everything a child needs to flourish.

We don’t need the three top tips to raise happy kids, instead the book highlights the fact that every form of parenting and upbringing is paired with risks. It’s simply inevitable. But instead of getting stressed about this, she instils a sense of confidence in the reader: there’s always wiggle room between our style of parenting and how our children will respond to our set of rules.

Always trust your gut

The bottom line is to always trust your gut. Especially when it comes down to raising kids. Close your eyes, sit back and think about what you can give your children, and what they can give you in return. Most of the time it’s a whole lot of love, attention and cuddles. Be the parent you needed and wanted when you were little.

Rather than raising kids according to a set of rules and guidelines, raise your kids according to your own rules and guidelines. As parents you know what your child needs, you can feel it all the way down to your toes. You’re the only person who knows what they really like and who they really are. At least for now. Enjoy it whilst it lasts, do a little dance with them to celebrate.

Don't forget: you're doing great

In response to this, they will feel who we are as parents. See it as a little dance between love birds; they’re attracted to each other and will stay together. You’ll always find a way that works best for you, just let go of all those expectations from outside. You’re doing a fantastic job.